Time is Long....Life is Short

The idea behind creating this blog was to share thoughts and experiences as I weathered life(pun intended) through my 50s and now 60s. Celebrating some things that come our way at this age, such as the joy of grandchildren. On the flip-side, it's dealing with the challenges of ones career and our choices as we age closer to retirement. Also, the chance to explore and try new things with the freedom of having less responsibilities for taking care of family and children who have moved on into their own adult lives.

However, another reality that comes with life as we traverse deeper into it, is loss. Especially the loss of loved ones. I have written about the loss of my wife, too soon at the age of 54, several times. Today however, I heard of one of those losses of someone that I knew, but certainly could not describe the relationship as close.

That being said, sometimes what you feel and how you are moved in hearing the news can seem incongruent to the actual relationship. I found out via a message through Instagram from someone from the old neighborhood about the passing of a grade school classmate from Nativity BVM, a private Catholic School in Ozone Park, Queens. He apparently passed suddenly, with the early word that he died in his sleep.

For some reason, the instant I finished reading the short text I felt a punch to the stomach. That was followed by a sickening feeling and finally tears. I had been in touch over the last few years with his wife on Facebook and we would often comment on each others posts. They had become grandparents a little while back as well, and I enjoyed seeing both of them with smiles lit up, holding the new generation of life in their arms.

I should say, after a little deeper thought, I realized why the news of the loss hit me as hard as it did. The back story on this couple is much like my story, we both married our 8th grade sweethearts from the same class. We were the only two couples who did that from the graduating class of '75. We were not close, but certainly knew each other and would occasionally cross paths in the neighborhood. They were good people. I knew her Mom and Dad as they would often come into the deli and small market I worked in as a teenager.

I guess the connection to their unique love story, as was mine and Nancy's, joined us emotionally without even knowing it. I suppose one of the good things about social media, was that we were able to catch up on Facebook to see where our lives had progressed. It was nice to see a couple still together for close to 50 years.

Knowing someone else who was in that unique position, with such a special relationship, suddenly having it taken from them, brought back home some of my own experience with loss.

It also reinforced something else I've been dealing with for the last few months. I've been blessed with some good health most of my life. To this point my genes have treated me well. I've limited abuse on my body and have always tried to avoid overindulgence, even in the things I truly love.

For some reason, this year I've noticed a few more occasionally achey joints. Some other stomach issues and just a fading of certain things that come with age. I do my best to stay positive. Treat life as a gift. Things like the sudden passing of someone your own age just sets off this alarm in my head. "I've got some sh%t to do yet". It can be a perspective changer.

I'm a great believer in perspective. I feel the key to a good life is 75% perspective. Good health is the rest. Our health, we can't always control, but perspective is in our hands and heads.

I don't like to panic when I hear things like I did today. To not suddenly feel this desperation to attack my bucket list. However, at the same time, it does trigger some introspection. How much time we have left I don't know. I can do my best to try and stick around physically as long as possible. This is another transitional time of life. Some part of it feels like the period in life going from a teenager into an adult. The difference now, I feel I am armed with the knowledge from 60+ years of living. I've won, I've lost and I've learned to walk away from things that will not make me a better person.

My heart goes out to the loved ones of this still relatively young man. May they find the strength in getting through the stages of loss. By all accounts, he was a truly good guy and his memories will carry on positively in everyone that knew him.

I feel now as I wrap up this short post, that I've not really moved the needle in any direction for those reading this. I guess I'm just expressing the struggle that comes with getting older and these inevitabilities. If you have any thoughts, perspectives or even questions, please feel free to reach out in the comments section or leave me a message on my Facebook/Instagram/LinkedIn pages.

Where do we put it moving forward? Time is long, but life can be short. This is just one of those reminders. Try to appreciate every moment of everyday in some way. From the mundane, to those moments of your life's highlight reel. They are all part of this experience we have on this Earth.

I promise my next post will be more uplifting!!!!

Sunshine Always!!!!